Screams of Rage & Shreds of Joy

This is fine. 🔥😩🔥

Before I get into the main content of today’s post, let us reflect upon last week’s. As I expected, I’ve gotten some… interesting responses.

A lot of y’all still seem convinced that Heath and Bella are toxic trash humans whilst Kat is a good person, and I’m here to tell you: no she isn’t, they’re all terrible and so am I, hope that helps ✌️ If you want to read about nice ladies making morally unimpeachable choices, my books are not for you (and never will be, just wait til you see what these bitches in The Ice Queens are up to).

Speaking of The Ice Queens, my next paid post is coming up this Friday, and it will be a sneak peek at some of the real-life skating lore that is making its way into the manuscript. If you want it in your inbox, you know what to do:

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Hard to believe it’s already been this long, but six years ago tomorrow, I gave notice at my corporate day job. I’d planned my exit well in advance, including all the projects I would tackle once I was finally a full-time writer.

But you know what they say about best-laid plans.

The selfie I sent to my besties right before quitting. So young, so innocent.

The very day after I submitted my resignation, the first pandemic lockdown started, and I found myself unable to write at all. My brain was good for nothing but binging Riverdale, doomscrolling the latest infection stats, and trying not to snap at my partner for breathing too loud.

It was a rough time. We’re all still traumatized by it in ways large and small that we haven’t even begun to process. In a lot of ways, though, shit feels even worse now.

I am sick over the straight-up war crimes United States is perpetrating in Iran, just as I’ve been sick over Israel’s unspeakably cruel decimation of Palestine. I don’t usually talk much about this stuff on my social media or other public author platforms, not because I don’t feel strongly, but because I am far from an expert. No one’s coming to me for hot takes on geopolitical affairs, nor should they.

But if you’re feeling hopeless and overwhelmed and fucking furious, just know I’m right there with you. It’s insane that we’re all answering emails while the world literally burns, and even more insane that the vast majority of these atrocities are entirely the fault of a small group of pathetic old men who think domination and destruction makes them strong. I want to believe we’re seeing the death throes of the system that props up men like Trump, Putin, Netanyahu, and the rest, but I fear whatever happens, it’s going to get much worse before it gets better.

During the pandemic, my partner and I cracked lots of jokes about seeking out “shreds of joy,” a la the below 2021 New Yorker cartoon by Suerynn Lee. So I thought I’d share a few shreds of joy that have been helping me keep my screams (mostly) inside this week, in case one of them might help you get through the day too…

1. Imagining a better future by reading about matriarchy! I especially loved this piece by Gabrielle Blair arguing that patriarchy is unnatural (my cishet male partner also loved it and has been delighting in calling out any “drone behavior” he witnesses, we shall let him live when the matriarchy rises).

2. More ice dancing novels! Specifically the just-announced Kiss and Cry by Melanie Sweeney. I’m always thrilled to see new sexy skating books in the world, but this one is extra special to me because a) Melanie is a friend and really knows her shit when it comes to ice dance (follow her on Instagram for her iconic ice dance costume + romance book cover pairings!), and b) it was acquired by my former editor, the one who turned down my original ice dance book pitch, so this feels like a delightful full circle moment. (Love you Kate, glad you’ve seen the light 😉)

3. Fidget toys! Especially ones that hurt juuuuust right. I don’t know the exact flavor of neurodivergence I have (and I’m not inclined to pursue formal diagnosis in the current political climate), but I have been using these acupressure rings while working and the sensation definitely helps me focus. I’m guessing plenty of other neurodivergent and/or mentally ill baddies read this, so if you’ve got other fidget recs, I’d love to hear them.

4. Every ballet and opera company in the world dunking on Little Timmy Chalamet! This is my favorite celebrity scandal in quite some time. Obviously I enjoy watching smug, pretentious rat boys like Timothée suffer, but I’ve also been loving all the dance videos people have been sharing in rebuttal and the way the Oscar race seems to have swung even harder towards the rightful winner, Michael B. Jordan (seriously, if anyone besides MBJ wins Best Actor, we riot — and I’d love to see Hollywood’s hottest couple Ryan & Zinzi Coogler up there giving me a bisexual crisis while accepting the Best Picture statue for Sinners too).

5. My dog’s stupid pouty face! Seymour doesn’t know anything about war crimes or nukes or the Epstein files, and I’m honestly so jealous of him.

What do you have to pout about, little man?

Please feel free to share your own shreds of joy, Oscar predictions, and/or good dog pics in the comments.

And if you’re struggling to work or even function right now, be kind to yourself ❤️Capitalism is a scam, and it won’t save us. Only community (and matriarchy!!) will,